Billionaire and Homeless man sit down for lunch.

B: Hello Sir, how are you?

H: I’m good mate.

I wasn’t always like this, you know.

B: Ok, well. How did you get to this point?

H: Bad luck and bad decisions.

B: You know how I became a billionaire? I was born into it. I just took over my parents’ company when they died.

H: How did they die?

B: Drunk driving. Aged 42 the pair of them. Even with all the money in the world, you still can’t guarantee a long, happy life, right?

H: You know what I would do if I were a billionaire?

B: What would you do?

H: I would help others who are in a position like me. All we need is an opportunity. As times gone on, they seem harder and harder to come by, you know?

B: The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.

H: Exactly.

B: So if I were to give you $100,000, what would you do with it?

H: Get a haircut, get an apartment, and get a job.

B: How do I know you won’t spend it on drugs and alcohol?

H: Because I know what it feels like to be that person. When life took me down that rabbit hole, I was looked at like I was worthless. Not a real human being. People would get scared when they walked past me in the street. They thought I was crazy. Meanwhile, all you billionaires sniffing coke and paying for prostitutes is normal, right? Life is all about perception.

B: People think because I have more money than I know what to do with that I’m a good guy. I do drugs. I drink. I pay prostitutes for sex. I don’t know any other way. I’ve never experienced the struggle. I get jealous of the people who come from nothing to making something of themselves. I never had to work a day in my life.

H: If you had all your money taken away from you today, you would crack. Your soft. Sure, I get it, rich coming from the dude who’s homeless. I told you before, when you get taken down the wrong path and make one wrong decision, it can ruin your entire life.

B: What was the decision that ruined your entire life?

H: Injecting myself with heroine.

B: Why did you choose to do it.

H: I lived at home as an only child and would get abused every day by my parents. They were drug addicts themselves. I was sixteen at the time and couldn’t take it no more, so I ran away. As far away as I could. I found some people who were sleeping rough, and they took me in. Then as time went on, I drunk with them. I tried different drugs with them. When heroine came around, I thought, well why not? As soon as I tried it, it was all I could think about. I could not wait to experience that feeling again. My entire life revolved around shooting up. This went on for three years, until one moment that saved my life. I was shooting up with some people and just before it was my turn, one person fell to the ground and started foaming from the mouth. I could see the life disappearing from his eyes. When I went down to check his pulse, he was gone. At that moment, I knew I had to change.

B: How did you change?

H: I moved away from those group of people I surrounded myself with. They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, right? I was fortunate enough to find a new spot with different homeless people who didn’t do drugs and were actually good people with bad luck. Born into poverty and having a system that gave them no path of escaping.

People in their suit and ties walking down the street on their way to work view us homeless folks as outcasts. What they fail to see is the cards we have been dealt with in life. And the lack of opportunities to get a better hand.

B: The people in their suit and ties are likely more miserable than you’d imagine. They work tirelessly at a job they hate, to spend it all on endless amounts of bills and everything they can, to get their kids through the same education system that led them to where they ended up, crazy shit.

But I don’t know what your life is like, so it is not fair for me to comment on it. Sounds rough. But I hope you can also see that even though I have the money and the big house and all this shit. I’m depressed as hell. People only want to be my friend because I have money. Woman only want me when I give them money. Every person in my life acts like they like me because of my money.

I just wish I could give it all away and start all over again.

H: You can. Give the money to me and start over.

B: Haha. First, if I actually gave you all my money. You’d probably flunk loads of it on stupid shit. Getting rich is one thing. Staying rich is another. I may have been born into this lifestyle but I only put my money in things that will keep my money safe. Land & stocks.

Second, if I gave you all my money, I would be hopeless. I have no discipline or drive to succeed. I’m not hungry because I’ve never had to work for my food. Whatever I want to eat, I can eat. When your life is always like this, even the best food is no longer tasty, you know?

H: Just like I said before, your soft. But I can see we are both fucked up in our own ways. So, you gonna help me out or what?

B: Help you out? Sure! I’ll give you a house, a million bucks. I’ll hook you up with one of my students who will teach you how to invest so that million will turn into passive income for you and you can be a lazy, boring prick like me. How does that sound?

H: Yeah man. Sounds good. Kinda glad you aren’t giving me more money. More money more problems, right?

B: Oh damn… I was planning on giving you an extra 5 million. So, you don’t want it?

H: Nah I was just joking before, course I want 5 million bucks.

B: HAHA! I’m just playing with you. The house and million bucks is for real though.

H: Appreciate it. Enjoy the rest of your miserable life not having to work for anything.

B: I will do. Enjoy your house and measly one million. Pocket money for me.

Leave a Reply